Do You Have to Have Labels in Your Relationship?

"She loves me, she loves me not," American children sing as they pluck petals off flowers.

How many more shades of gray are allowed in France, where children recite, "She loves me a little, a lot, passionately, madly, or not at all."


"We Americans do not like ambiguity. We need to know where things are going; we do not like not knowing. Because rather than setting things in motion, we prefer to set things in stone with clear objectives, goals, and outcomes.


Is he my soulmate or my future husband? Does he love me or does he love me not?

We gag the life out of experiences that might not lead to marriage but would still ripen one’s sensibilities.

How about you? Are you willing to contemplate or accept an experience that doesn’t necessarily go anywhere in particular, but that is still an essential part of love, sex, and being human?"

- Debra Ollivier



Photo by Robert Mapplethorpe