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How Much Can I Change My Partner?

Updated: Feb 16, 2023

"Aren't people supposed to evolve and change and make requests of each other to bend and grow and expand?"

- Taffy Brodesser-Akner, "Fleishman Is In Trouble"


We all know we can’t change our partners, right? But, I like this quote! Isn't it reasonable to make these kinds of requests?


So ... Which are the things that can change and what should we accept as is?


Are there non-negotiables that need to change? What are they?


Or do I have lists of things that I’d like to be different if I could have my way?


Are those wishes based on my (potentially unrealistic) comparison to other relationships? And to my ideal version of what a relationship should be?


In what ways am I willing to change?


What if I change and my partner doesn't??


What if nothing changes.


What if I get the changes I want? Then what??? 🤔

Photograph by Mehran Djojan

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