Updated: Jul 18, 2019
I’ve been thinking about the ways we heal on our own, the internal “work” that only we can do. It's no doubt, the most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves.
However, and maybe this rant stems from the staunch individualism of this country and so much of the avoidant commitment issues I see in LA, I also believe there are certain lessons we can only learn *in relation* with other people.
It’s confusing, though, because both are true: (1) We have to learn to love ourselves and be ok on our own before we can truly step into a healthy relationship and (2) The stability of a secure relationship (with friend, family, intimate partner, or community) creates a safe container that allows this individual work to flourish.
There is also truth to some people feeling they don’t need to be in relation with others in order to achieve their full potential - that their safety & security can be found through art, nature, animals, spirituality.
The following are just some ideas... Let me know what I’ve missed!
Healing on Your Own (Lessons to Learn):
- Quieting your mind
- Not comparing yourself to others
- Self-love & acceptance
- Relationship with spirituality
- Joy, gratitude, contentedness
- Individual meaning, purpose
- I’m not good enough / not worthy
Healing in Relation (Lessons to Learn):
- Intimacy & Vulnerability
- Allowing yourself to be loved / Receiving love
- Trusting another
- Partnership / Compromise / Acceptance of another person
- Dependence / Interdependence
- Surrender / Letting go of control
Yes, building a healthy relationship can start with a therapist. Call us!
illustration by Quibe