Attachment & Intimacy
When I got into Buddhism in my late 30s, it helped me let go of what I thought I needed in order to be happy (mostly marriage, kids).
Detachment was liberating. My controlling, perfectionistic habits loosened as I became more comfortable with unknown outcomes. Whatever happened, I was okay.
Are there outcomes in your life that would be liberating to detach from?
Buddhism, and detaching from socio-cultural expectations, also helped me avoid loneliness. Turns out meditation and a sense of oneness with the ‘universe’ fills many voids.
But, I recognized how detachment was actually playing into my avoidant relationship style. For me, the growth is about learning to tolerate the intimacy that attachment demands.
What about you?
As Alexandra Katehakis suggests, "Examine how much you seek love and adoration. Then consider whether receiving that kind of attention actually brings you relief or annoyance."